Thursday, November 15, 2012

An Analysis of the Essay “I Want a Wife” by Judy Brady by Adoracion Guir

The essay is a satire that gave me a strong reaction when first read it. Brady sarcastically comments on the chauvinistic point of view of men and how they perceive a perfect partner should be. Brady speaks to housewives, that they should take a good look and a new perspective on the expected responsibility our partners secretly covet. She is right on the money and her voice is refreshing in that it is, in a funny way, shining light on this ideal. As I continue my thoughts of disbelief and ridiculousness, I start to realize how true it all is.

 Brady writes a completely one-sided essay on the inner thoughts of a man told by a woman. “I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me” (Brady, 4:1-3). Those things do sound quite tempting; I myself wouldn’t mind someone to take care of my needs. Brady humorously exaggerates the wants and desires that a husband dreams up of his wife. In today’s age these things are done, but not “just” by the wife. Life’s a two-person fight; teamwork gets us through.

As a wife, with 25 years of experience, who was raised in the old school tradition, a traditional, family-oriented type of marriage is what I am living now. The saying. “what is mine, is yours and what is yours, is mine” or “for better or worse, ‘til death do we part” is the golden rule in my marriage.  My opinion about marriage is simple: The moment you say “I do” automatically means that what is “mine” now becomes “ours.” Marriage is a mutual understanding between two people, sealed with a vow of monogamy, equality, and love. As there are many who are living in two-income homes, husband and wife must work together to help each other prosper, especially with the house chores.

 

Brady seeks a wife who is completely invested in all things to support the husband. She states, “I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my children” (Brady, 3:3-4). Where the ideal marriage is two-part, Brady’s ideal wife takes the responsibilities of both roles, allowing the spouse to seek other uses of his time. I was angered by this and thought, “This is ridiculous” because this is not the way I understand a marriage to be. What I know is: I cook dinner, you set the table, and then you clean dishes, and I put them away. I wash the clothes you fold, I gave birth to the children and we clean them up after they get messy. I read them a story and you tuck them into bed. And, when it comes to finances, it should be both supporting each other. I buy you things and you buy me things. We work together and support each other every day. That is what I understand.

 

In paragraph 2 of the essay, Brady speaks of her friend, who ultimately presented the topic. Her friend, recently divorced, essentially suggested that he wanted, not just “another” (Brady, 2:3) wife, but one better than the last. I think he did not want a wife; he wanted a personal slave .The author tells a ridiculous tale of a man’s outlook. In the description of the role of a wife, in his dream, she includes, “a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied” (Brady, 7:2-3). Being a housewife herself, she exaggerates the position of an extremely self-centered personality, of what a stereotypical male ego thinks a perfect wife should be. Personally, this sickens me. Although it is in good humor that she makes these remarks, I find them offensive and demeaning, and just plain rude. In your dreams, guys.
 
 

Judy Brady tries to express her personal understanding about a hidden feeling of anger and betrayal. It is based on how she sees the role of a man in her life. The essay is geared to encourage women, wives, exes, and girlfriends to question where they stand.  The one-sided topics of this essay are blown out of proportion, but some days they seem realistic. I can picture it in someone’s life, as she’s going through a low point in a relationship. Brady includes this idea with, “I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties” (Brady, 5:1-2). At a low point in a woman’s life, bad isn’t bad, even when it becomes worse. By this I mean, even when our life is low, if someone were to take advantage of our submissive nature, at that moment, the ideal wife (according to Brady) wouldn’t complain.

Brady exhausts the ideas of the “perfect” wife in this essay. “My God, who wouldn't want a wife?” (Brady, 10:1). Honestly, I can agree with that. Who wouldn’t I want someone to take up all the difficult responsibilities that we have in life? To be able to go about my own business knowing that, no matter what, anything I didn’t want to do, I wouldn’t have to because a wife would handle it. Yes, that’s a great idea—a sick, dated, chauvinistic idea. That’s something I can only accept as satire, a joke. Judy Brady makes us think how, even though it sounds like it would be great to have a wife like that, being that wife could never be an option. Her entire essay holds perfectly the tone and reaction that this chauvinistic idea deserves, and that is one of satire.

1 comment:

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