Sometimes
people tell little white lies to make a person feel better. I am married to a
wonderful man for three years now. Even my husband does not tell the whole
truth. For example, he did not want to tell me the truth about how I looked. I
gained 40 pounds, during and after the pregnancy of my son. He told me several
times, “You look great.” This was a big
fat lie. It was my mother who told me my weight gain was out of control. I love her so much for that.
In
another example, I told my husband when we were dating that he would have to
stop chewing tobacco. I found tobacco on the carpet of the driver’s side in his
truck, after I had paid to have his truck detailed. He was caught red handed. I am very fortunate
that these are the only lies my husband has told, that I know of. I still trust
him completely.
Other
people lie to manipulate for a hidden agenda. Years ago I dated a guy who
fathered my daughter. He told me he only had three kids. I found out when I was
pregnant he had eight or nine kids. At the end of our relationship, he still
would not tell me the truth about the correct number of kids he had. The
relationship was over. I would not be with a man who did not acknowledge his
kids. We dated for a year. My daughter is eight years old, and her father is not
in her life. In the end, he was treating my daughter just like his other kids,
not acknowledging her. He told me the reason he lied was because he knew I
would not date someone with so many kids. I believe his hidden agenda was to
trap me and have me help him financially.
When I
was in the military (stationed in Korea), a guy I was dating told me he was
single. I found out when he went state
side that he was married. We had dated for eight months. This guy’s hidden agenda was he wanted some
female company while overseas, which can be very lonely. He just used me for a
temporary fix. In both cases, the guys were able to keep up the lie for a long
period of time. I often wonder how they were able to live a lie for so long. I
also dated a guy who told me “I will never get married again.” When I started
to fall in love with him, I decided to break if off because it would never lead
to marriage. I found out a year later he had married someone. This person just
did not have the courage to tell me the truth that he did not want to marry me.
I’m not
completely innocent; I’ve lied, too. I was dating a guy who would spend a lot
of money on me. When he told me he loved me, I told him “I love you, too.” I
told a lie; I did not love him. I just cared about him like a friend. I shortly
ended the relationship after the “I love you” lie. This really hurt the guy
because he thought the relationship was going well. He disliked me after the
breakup. This really stunk because now I had an enemy. This is a lesson I
learned later in my life. It is unfortunate I hurt some people before I learned
this lesson. In this situation it would have been easier to just tell the guy
that I did not love him when he had told me he loved me. Years later we talked
and he forgave me. Now I will tell the truth in most situations. Most of my
friends say that I am the mean one. This is mostly because when people ask me a
question or for my opinion, I will tell them truth. This is a small price to
pay being the mean friend. I consider an
individual a very strong person when he or she can tell the truth in any
situation. We truly need more honest Abe’s in world.
We all
lie, but you must learn the difference between the lie to make someone feel
better and the lie that can hurt someone. I know that telling the truth
sometimes hurts. But if you really care about the person you will tell him or
her the truth.
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